{"id":24253,"date":"2026-04-23T07:31:38","date_gmt":"2026-04-23T07:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/incredipros.com\/?p=24253"},"modified":"2026-04-23T07:31:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-23T07:31:39","slug":"11-ways-to-start-a-conversation-plus-examples-of-conversati","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/incredipros.com\/?p=24253","title":{"rendered":"11 Ways to Start a Conversation (Plus Examples of Conversati"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

There she is! Walking toward me! What do I say?<\/em>\n <\/p>\n

\n

Get expert money advice to reach your money goals faster!<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

We\u2019ve all been there\u2014not knowing what to say during a social situation. And in this mindlessly digital age, live, in-person exchanges seem rarer (and harder) than ever.\n <\/p>\n

At the biological, psychological and spiritual levels, we\u2019re\u00a0starving<\/em>\u00a0for human connection. We just don\u2019t know how to do it anymore.\n <\/p>\n

If you think starting a conversation feels awkward or even terrifying, you\u2019re not alone. Most of us choose withdrawal or distraction over connection. And when texting and emailing feel safer and just plain easier, it seems harder to find folks who know how to start a conversation. But that\u2019s all going to change today.\n <\/p>\n

How to Start a Conversation Naturally\u00a0<\/h2>\n

Point-blank, we have to connect with real people through real conversations. Our lives depend on it. Thankfully, it\u2019s a skill we can all practice. \u00a0\n <\/p>\n

A quick caveat<\/strong>: The following tips are for in-person conversations with real-life human beings. You can apply some of them to text and email and the internets, but I\u2019m more concerned with helping you connect with people face to face.\n <\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t overthink it.<\/h3>\n

We spend so much time in our own heads. We obsess over how we look, how we\u2019re standing, how we\u2019re moving, whether our laugh is too loud or too quiet, and whether anyone noticed we forgot to pluck our crazy eyebrows.\u00a0\n <\/p>\n

Relax.\n <\/p>\n

The good news is, most people are thinking about themselves and not you. The even better<\/em> news is, if someone\u2019s going to judge you on your eyebrows, you don\u2019t want to spend time with them anyway. Win-win.\n <\/p>\n

2. Make eye contact.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

Having a conversation isn\u2019t just a verbal process\u2014it\u2019s also a bodily experience. When you\u2019re getting ready to talk to someone, whether it\u2019s at a birthday party or a family reunion or on a first date, start by facing the person and gently looking them in the eye (a quick moment will do\u2014no need to overdo it).\n <\/p>\n

Super intense eye contact can come on too strong. Keeping it light and friendly with a smile can go a long way to break the ice.\n <\/p>\n

3. Pay attention to body language and tone.<\/h3>\n

Like I said earlier,\u00a0human connection\u00a0isn\u2019t just about what you say\u2014it\u2019s also\u00a0how<\/em>\u00a0you say it. Body movement and behavior is a language. Pay attention to your tone of voice, facial expressions, hand motions and body placement as you gear up to start a conversation. And look out for your default social anxiety responses or insecurity ticks. Are you keeping a good personal space bubble? Does your smile feel genuine or forced? Are you mumbling (this is my annoying insecurity default) or talking too loudly? Remember to be yourself. You\u2019re worth talking to.\n <\/p>\n

Also, notice the other person\u2019s body language. Are they in a hurry? Are they inching toward the door? If they\u2019re turned away, it\u2019s a subtle, subconscious cue that it\u2019s time to move on.\n <\/p>\n

4. Introduce yourself.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

Okay, once you\u2019ve noticed someone to talk to, how do you make the first move? Sometimes the best opener is to introduce yourself. It\u2019s a natural way to go first, and it gives the other person a nonthreatening way to respond.\n <\/p>\n

Example<\/strong>:\u00a0Hi, I\u2019m John! Nice to meet you.<\/em>\n <\/p>\n

Pro tip<\/strong>: If all your fears come true and a silence of doom follows, you can follow up with an encouraging nudge, such as,\u00a0\u201cAnd you are . . .?\u201d And if they don\u2019t take the bait, move on instead of dwelling in <\/em>disappointment. <\/em>\n <\/p>\n

5. Don\u2019t be afraid of silence.<\/h3>\n

Silence can feel super awkward\u2014but it\u2019s not automatically a massive rejection. We\u2019ve been programmed to fill every social space with movement, noise and repeated attempts to engage. But silence isn\u2019t bad. In fact, if we\u2019d all just slow down a bit, we\u2019d realize gaps in conversations can help people connect.\n <\/p>\n

Give the conversation breathing room. If silence naturally enters the conversation, simply notice it, breathe through it, and choose to not feel lonely in the absence of conversation.\n <\/p>\n

6. Find common ground.<\/h3>\n

After you get the ball rolling, start asking questions that will help you find something in common with this person\u2014whether it\u2019s work or hobbies or your alma mater. Once you strike gold, you can explore the topic to deepen your conversation. You might even\u00a0make a new friend.\n <\/p>\n

7. Make the other person the star of the show.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

This is the big one\u2014so pay close attention here. Engaging someone in conversation is a great way to love people. It\u2019s a way to be hospitable. It\u2019s a way to honor other people while boosting our own mood. (No, I\u2019m not exaggerating.) Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor and author, wrote, \u201cThe first service one owes to others in the community involves listening to them.\u201d I think he\u2019s onto something.\n <\/p>\n

In graduate school, I took classes on listening. Like how to listen\u2014really listen\u2014and not just wait for the other person to take a breath so I could blast into the conversation with my thoughts and opinions.\n <\/p>\n

Few things help someone else feel appreciated, known and loved like true listening.\n <\/p>\n

In your conversations with others, picture yourself holding up a spotlight and shining it on the other person, showing you care about the details of their lives. Be interested, not interesting<\/em><\/em>.\n <\/p>\n

Pro tip<\/strong>: Take opportunities to turn the conversation back on the other person with open-ended and follow-up questions (see the next two points).\u00a0<\/em>\n <\/p>\n

\u00a0\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

8. Ask open-ended questions.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

Yes or no questions are dead-end conversation starters. Push yourself to ask open-ended questions, inviting the other person to take you to places you might not expect.\n <\/p>\n

Pro tip<\/strong>:<\/strong> Questions and icebreakers that begin with\u00a0what<\/em>\u00a0or\u00a0how<\/em>\u00a0usually generate open-ended answers.\n <\/p>\n

9. Ask follow-up questions.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

So many conversations are like a game of Ping-Pong\u2014you\u2019re hitting a ball of questions and stories back and forth without any real engagement. Instead of waiting for your turn to speak, ask follow-up questions that will help you get to know the other person better\u2014especially when you notice someone is excited about a certain topic. This is simple emotional intelligence.\n <\/p>\n

10. Try these go-to check-ins.\u00a0<\/h3>\n

Okay, this advice is for people you actually know, not complete strangers (unless you\u2019re an otherworldly conversation wizard who can make friends on the spot). Just because we see friends, family and coworkers often doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re connected to them. We might feel lonely in a crowded room. But you can turn all that on its head by starting a good conversation. \u00a0\n <\/p>\n

Example<\/strong>: Try the Rose, Thorn, Bud check-in with your spouse, a group of friends, or maybe even an acquaintance you\u2019d like to get to know better.\n <\/p>\n